There is a lot that holds us back from trying out psychotherapy.
阻止我们寻求心理咨询的因素有很多
There is the idea that you have to be a little mad
其中最流行的一种观念就是你变得有些疯癫
or harbor some huge and strange problem
或你有什么严重而古怪的毛病
to go and see a therapist.
你才需要去看心理医生
It can be hard to see that therapy isn't in fact
我们可能很难理解到的是
for the select, disturbed few,
心理咨询并不是少数精神失常的人的选择
it's for everyone.
它适用于每个人
Because, actually it's entirely ordinary
因为以下这些问题都很平常
to be rather confused,
不管是感到迷茫困惑
a bit anxious,
感到焦虑
and sometimes challenged by relationships,
有时在人际关系上遇到困难
family life,
在家庭生活上
and the direction of your career.
或在你的职业方向上
So really, the only qualification for going to therapy
因此，只要你是个普通人
is to be a normal human being.
你就有资格寻求心理治疗
There is also the worry about the strangeness of it all.
你可能会担心，心理咨询会不会很尴尬？
It will be you and someone you've never met,
毕竟，你要和一个素不相识的人会面
to whom your expected to divulge nothing less than your inner life.
还要对这个人知无不言
Why not talk to a friend?
跟朋友谈谈不就好了吗？
Well, firstly, because friends aren't properly trained to listen
好吧，首先，因为你的朋友没有受过「倾听」的专业训练
As one would have noticed,
或许你自己也注意到了
they interrupt, a lot.
朋友经常打断你
And secondly, because it's sometimes easier to tell someone who has no prior knowledge or expectations of you
第二，因为向一个对你没有任何成见和期待的人讲话会容易的多
the big and important things about who you are.
也不会评判你的处事风格与人格
Furthermore,
更进一步说
Therapist are the last people ever to judge.
咨询师是世界上最不会评判你的人
Their concept of a normal human being
在他们认知中关于正常人的范畴
is far more expansive than that held by society at large.
要比这个社会所普遍定义的范畴宽广的多
They know how unsual and surprising we are,
他们深知我们不同寻常和令人惊讶的地方
especially around sex and anxiety.
尤其是在性和焦虑有关的方面
Their whole training
心理咨询师所受的训练
takes them into the recesses of their own and others minds.
可以让他们抵达自己和他人的思想的最隐秘之处
They know how surprising we can all be.
他们深知我们每个人都有可能做出惊人之举
It doesn't frighten them - it intrigues and motivates them.
他们不会被吓到，反而会让他们好奇并渴望探索
That's why they became therapists in the first place.
这也是为什么他们愿意成为心理咨询师
They are in the end
追根究底
interested in mental health,
心理咨询师关注的是你的精神健康
that means, in helping out.
简而言之，他们是在提供一种帮助
Then there's the cost.
这是它的价值所在
03
Isn't it all a fortune?
它是否值得花费那些金钱呢？
It might be the price of going out for dinner with friends,
你可能得支出一笔与朋友聚餐的花费
which is both a lot, and not so much
数额可能很大，也可能没那么多
It really just depends on the value you place on it.
这一切都取决于心理健康在我们心中的价值
This is the crux of it:
于是关键来了
Therapy is valuable,
心理咨询是极具价值的
because so many of our problems come down to
因为我们生活中有太多的问题
not having enough insight into how our minds work
与对自己心智如何运作的了解不足有关
What we want? What we fear?
我们想要什么？我们恐惧什么？
Why we act the way we do?
为什么我们会去做某些事？
and are overwhelmed by certain feelings?
为什么我们会被某些情绪压垮？
The goal of therapy is self-knowledge.
心理咨询的终极目标是一种深刻的自我认识
By talking a lot to someone who listens very carefully,
藉由跟一个认真倾听的人进行大量的谈话
over many weeks
数个星期后
you come to deeper insights into the mind you inhabit.
你会获得深刻的洞察
Patterns start to emerge,
你会开始注意到自己有特定的模式
a particular way of approaching relationships,
不管是在情感关系层面
or dealing with defeat,
或是在处理失败上
a recurrent, not very helpful, approach to jealousy,
亦或是徒劳的应对嫉妒的方式上
an ongoing thing with your sister or father -
还是跟你的姐妹或和父亲之间的冲突
This is the stuff of therapy.
这些都是心理咨询的议题
Knowing how to live isn't an instinct,
知道如何生活并不是一种本能
we are not born with it.
没有人天生就会
It's a skill.
这是一项技能
And one of the places you learn it
其中一个可以让你学到这项宝贵技能的地方
is in the outworldly, slightly unusual but in fact, deeply normal and productive settingof a therapist's office.
那个看起来显得有些异乎寻常但实际上却平常至极且包含有效设置的心理咨询师的工作室
It isn't a sign of disturbance to go to therapy
寻求心理咨询并不代表你是个没救的疯子，相反
it's the first sign of sanity
它是你维护自己心理健康做出的成熟而理性的选择
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